You’re certainly familiar with the scenario of having to get money immediately otherwise something is going to go terribly wrong. Many of you do not stop and think of how this type of mindset affects your ability to increase your income.
However I do understand the desperation behind needing money as soon as possible. My mother would often panic when her bills weren’t paid off and if food was scarce in the house. Of course, me and my brothers always had enough and didn’t grow up with extreme material lack. Our apartment was in a great condition, we lived on a quiet street with quirky and friendly neighbours and nothing really happened there.
Nevertheless, my mother couldn’t feel safe and her fears and insecurities went into her money management style. Because she felt insecure about the family income, she would often find herself with unexpected bills to pay.
I certainly don’t want to blame her for the fearful way she handled money and for instilling the same fear in us kids. Nobody taught her how to manage her income and she certainly didn’t have access to personal development courses that could have boosted her self esteem. (she grew up in Communist Romania)
Unfortunately, much like my mother, I too get desperate about money, sometimes perhaps I feel it’s not enough what I have right now and other times I blame myself for not earning the exact sum I have in mind.
I’m sure you too get desperate about money. Perhaps you have children to support or a massive student loan to pay back. Maybe you are caring for a sick parent or relative and can’t seem to make ends meet.
Unfortunately, whenever we put out the energy of desperate, life gives us more negative events that cause us the same feeling of desperation or need. Maybe you get so stressed out about money that you accept terrible job offers that cause more stress and anxiety. Or maybe you, like my mother find unexpected bills in your mail box, bills you certainly can’t afford paying.
How to get rid of desperate?
Whenever you feel desperate about money, you can turn things around and ask yourself this important question:
Why do I want the money now and how can I get the things I want without this specific amount of money?
After doing this exercise, I realised that the reason I needed a specific amount of money is to feel safe, relaxed and good enough/worthy as a person. See, by not having this amount of money I felt bad about myself. My parents would often criticise people with money struggles (although they were in the exact financial situation themselves) and I didn’t want to feel like that type of person.
After discovering this truth, I realised I can feel safe, relaxed and worthy in other ways rather than through financial remuneration. And that no one’s opinion about myself matters except my own.
This exercise IS VERY IMPORTANT if you want to live a happy and fulfilling life.
You need to discover what can money get you if you had more than enough (self-worth, peace of mind, status, good feelings, self confidence, inner worthiness even happiness) and find a way to OBTAIN those things WITHOUT YOUR DOLLARS (euros, pounds and so on).
If you don’t do this, you will be forever chasing money thinking that it will give you experiences or feelings you cannot get on your own. You will perhaps accumulate a lot of money but that won’t make you happy. The money here has nothing to do with financial comfort but with your internal comfort.
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